A Groovy Kind of Love

By: Donna Martin

Our relationship began when we had our first date at the Dairy Queen, Sunday night after church on September 15, 1968.  Mike’s favorite expression at that time was that something was “cool as grass” or “neat as sticks”.  Just like a popular song of the 60’s said, we thought we had a “groovy kind of love.”  After a 3 year courtship and a 1 year engagement, we thought we knew each other pretty well, but you really don’t know everything there is to know about someone until you have lived with them day to day.  So on June 2, 1972 when we married and started to live each day together under the same roof, we really got to know the good, bad, and ugly about each other. 

A lot of our communication was miscommunication or no communication.  Mike didn’t always pick up on my insinuations, and I often misinterpreted some of the things that he said.  Through the years we have had our share of “loving disagreements” and all out arguments.  We haven’t always been happy with each other every day of every week, and some days we didn’t even like one another. 

So how has our marriage lasted for over 40 years?  The reason is we never gave up.  From the beginning of our marriage we agreed to never use the word “divorce”.  Even when we had a heated argument that word was never mentioned.  I knew that Mike was never going to leave me, and Mike knew that I was never going to leave him.  We were committed to each other and to our marriage because we knew that was God’s plan for marriages.  We had to learn how to communicate and resolve our conflicts.  In fact we continually are learning to communicate even after all these years.

Marriage is a good thing, and good things are worth working for.  Building a good marriage takes a lot of work.  Many couples want don’t want to do what it takes to build a happy marriage, so they give up and bail out.  However, they find that the next relationship has the same problems and conflicts.  But God’s plan is for marriage to last “as long as you both shall live.”  If you follow God’s instructions in Ephesians 4:32 and you are “kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you,”  you will find that through practice and patience you can learn to communicate, resolve conflicts and build a life together as one that nothing or no one can tear apart.

The Martins currently present “Happy Together” marriages seminars for churches and organizations.  To schedule a seminar call Michael at 940-735-1515. They also publish a weekly “Happy Together” Blog about family and marriage issues.  You can order copies of their new books Dancing With Death and 366 Tidbits We Have Learned in 14,610 Days of Marriage, read, and subscribe to their “Happy Together” Blog by logging onto the Martin’s website at www.happytogethermarriage.com