The Worries of This World

By Donna Martin

“….but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.”  (Mark 4:19) This is a verse from the parable of the sower.  Jesus told this parable to explain how people react to the word of God.  I believe we could also apply this verse to our marriages.

The worries of life can place a great strain on a marriage.  Life’s worries are unavoidable.  A major illness, an unruly child, financial difficulties can take a lot of time and energy and leave us so drained that we sometimes neglect our spouse and their needs during this time.

 Sometimes couples may argue and blame each other for the troubles instead of working together as a team to find a solution or give support.

People often react differently to the stress.   For example:

1. The Angry One- This spouse reacts with anger at the situation.   The other spouse needs to understand that the anger is not directed at them.  Be ready to listen and try not to take offense.
2. The Talker – This spouse needs to talk about the situation.  She/He just needs hugs and a listening ear.  Don’t give advice unless she/he asks you for it.
3. The Thinker – This spouse just needs to be left alone so that he/she can think out the situation. He/She needs time to reflect before he/she is ready to resolve or deal with the stress.  Wait and be ready to listen.

Couples need to be aware of the way their spouse deals with stress so that they do not make the situation worse.  When one spouse reacts in one of these ways the other spouse needs to understand their actions before they react to it.  For example, if one spouse expresses anger over the situation it would not be good for the other spouse to react back in anger at them.  However, after the initial response to the situation couples need to help each other through these times.   They need to lean on each other and give each other strengthen and support.  Instead of allowing stress to drive you apart, work together through these times so that your marriage becomes stronger.  Remember, you did vow to stay together “for better or worse”  and sometimes it is the worse times that make our marriage better.

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