How Do You Like Your Words?

By: Donna Martin

We had returned from two back to back trips, and both of us were weary and behind on the work at our office.  We each sat at our computers trying to catch up on all of the loose ends that needing tying.  I kept interrupting Mike to ask questions that I couldn’t answer myself.  He kept interrupting me wanting me to find something or help him out in some way.  The air in our shared home office was getting thick as we were both getting on each other’s nerves with all of the interrupting that was going on.  By the end of the day, nerves were on end.

“What’s wrong with you?”  Mike snapped.  “Are you upset at me?” 

“What’s wrong with me?”  I snapped back.  “You’re the one who keeps snapping at me!”

One word led to another ,and suddenly, an all out conflict had erupted.  All of those methods that we teach about conflict resolution just went out the window.  We were both mad!

After things got back to normal and the conflict had been somewhat resolved, I thought about my first response to Mike’s question.  At that moment I had held the events of the rest of the day in my mouth.  If I had thought before I had spoken (what a novel idea) the series of events that followed could have turned out very differently.  We could have had a relaxing evening instead of a tension filled evening.

When it comes to “how do you like your eggs”?  Sunny side up is good with pancakes and bacon and hard boiled is best for tuna salad.  However, when it comes to words you will find that the day goes much better if you always choose sunny side up.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1 NIV)

The Martins currently present “Happy Together” marriages seminars for churches and organizations.  To schedule a seminar call Michael at 940-735-1515. They also publish a weekly “Happy Together” Blog about family and marriage issues.  You can order copies of their new books Dancing With Death and 366 Tidbits We Have Learned in 14,610 Days of Marriage, read, and subscribe to their “Happy Together” Blog by logging onto the Martin’s website at www.happytogethermarriage.com.